The Dope Show

There will be pills. Lots of pills. LOTS of pills. And supplements, And creams. And lotions. And potions. And syrups. And things that go in places you really don't want to think about in relation to your parent.

Red pills. Blue pills. Pink pills. Little pills. Big pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Honestly the only two times I have seen more pills was watching Valley of the Dolls and that time I went to a rave in Edingburgh.

A couple of things to know about the pills:

1) Expiration dates don't mean a thing. Heaven forbid you get rid of "perfectly good medicine." Even though the first Bush was in office when it expired.

2) Doctors don't coordinate medications even though they ask for an updated medication list. At. Every. Appointment. You're on your own on this one. Ask the questions. Do we need to continue to take this? Why are we taking this?

3) He who controls the pillbox. Controls the world. No matter what it takes - manipulation, hostile takeover, subterfuge, guilt - take control of the pillbox.

4) If you're loved one is a doctor? You. Are. Screwed. No matter what any other doctor says they will never listen to you about the pills.

And don't be surprised when you find your loved one taking the dog's medication. Because antibiotics are antibiotics. And because they did this before they got old (you have vague memories of your mother giving you horse pills - ACTUAL pills prescribed to your horse originally) you have no way of knowing - is this the normal crazy or old age crazy?