Did you say it?
Do they know it?
Did you mean it?
Tell the one you care for what they mean to you. And really mean it when you say it. If you have old regrets, grudges or unresolved messiness...deal with it. Accept whatever you need to do to move on so you can really mean "I Love You" when you tell them.
Momma has always been the type to tell you she loves you. I can remember it being sung sing song style to me as a child, said through gritted teeth after teenage arguments, whispered through tears by an ICU bed that I lay in, so many ways.
I can remember her telling me to remember I will always love you after I told her I was gay.
Every phone call, every birthday card, every text. I love you.
Three words. Sent up as a prayer to remind me that no matter what there was someone out there who would lay down their life for me. A paper lantern rising into the sky to shine light when the night is the darkest.
In the last year she also added something else to her prayer every time we talk.
I just want to thank you for everything. Everything you have ever done for me. Thank you honey.
The words have been varied but the meaning has always been the same...I will always love you and I want you to know that I am so grateful for everything you have done for me as we have gone down this road to the end together.
No matter how many times I acknowledge this and tell her that I know she continues to say it. Almost pleadingly to make sure that I know before it is too late.
That I know that what I have done, what I have sacrificed, what The Saint has sacrificed was appreciated and seen.
It frightened me the first few times she said this and when she said it every time. It added a potential finality to every conversation.
Is this the one?
Is this the last time?
No one can know but what I do know is that you should always say it.
Say it.
Say it often.
Say it loud.
Say it with all your heart.
Say I will always love you.
Because all too soon you will be sending up this prayer to nothing but the wind.
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