I Put A Spell On You

Genetics.

The original inheritance.

The genetics in my family are quite strong. We all look a LOT alike and act a lot alike.

We all love to garden, are compulsive overachievers, smart (some are brilliant), can't sit still and strongly believe in "the best prize that life has to offer is a chance to work hard at work worth doing."

While these are all great things to inherit, our genetics are definitely a double edged sword.

When we get older, my family has a tendency to get a little wonky in the think meat.

Shake the family tree (and not even that hard) and you will find Alzheimer's, frontotemporal lobe dementia, Parkinson's, some depression and a whole lot of anxiety. No one knows why but these mind demons pop up in each generation.

Being the standard bearer for the anxiety gene in this generation (just ask my Lexipro prescription and my therapy bills), I go from 0 to I'm losing my mind in 7 seconds every time I choose the wrong word, can't find my keys, use their instead of they're or there, or stumble in my speech. I KNOW that I have Alzheimer's or dementia; that the cursed inheritance has come to roost.

The therapy mentioned above has helped me be able to give my mind speeding tickets on these types of terror drives, but this is one I can't slow down at times.

Knowing that I come from such a potent (and amazing) genetic stew my friend Leslie once asked me if I was going to get tested to see if I had the gene that can cause Alzheimer's.

Would knowing that I have the gene that just might cause something to happen be better than being in the dark and just accepting my genetics and fate when it happened?

I never answered Leslie.

But I can now say - no. I will not be tested.

When Lil Bit was diagnosed. I asked her if she was scared.

"No, honey," she said. "Fear is a horrible way to live. We all have to go on down the road and this is our road."