I'm Only Happy When It Rains

There are days I don't want to get out of bed.

There are days I want to stand outside and scream FUCKKKKKKKK at the top of my lungs.

I have shut my door at work, sat on the floor with my back to the door to keep people from entering and bawled.

I have not been able to sleep and found myself watching American Horror Story: Apocolypse at 3 in the morning while baking. And I have slept 14 hours at once.

I have felt so much love that I thought my chest would burst and I have felt the rage of a thousand suns. I've stood in the rain and laughed while standing in the sun and cried.

And all of this has happened in one week.

Caregiving is an emotional roller coaster that you launch yourself on while you build the track and it burns to a crisp as quickly as you can build it.

It consumes you entirely and plays Hunger Games with your mind that would make Jigsaw happy.

Caregivers have been known to suffer from anxiety, depression and a whole host of other mental issues. I can attest to this. I've seen and felt it all.

Get fucking mental help because if you are going to be a caregiver, get ready to ride the crazy train in the immortal words of Ozzy.

And pick up some happy drugs for yourself...you're gonna need them.